I Lay Me Down

This past week we sang one of my favorite songs to close the worship service, “I Lay Me Down” by Christ Tomlin. (Check out the YouTube link here)

This song has been echoing through my heart and mind the last two weeks as I have been challenged by the lyrics.  They are simple but yet speak so much scriptural truth that is much easier to say then do.

The lyrics to the chorus are:

I lay me down I’m not my own

I belong to you alone Lay me down

Lay me down Hand on my heart

This much is true there’s no life apart from you

Lay me down Lay me down

The bridge says:

“It will be my joy to say Your will, Your way”

As I read these lyric I am reminded of the scripture from 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 where Paul writes:

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

As the scripture says and the song reminds us, we are not our own, we have been purchased by God and now belong to Him. As I think about these words, the song and scripture, I am reminded of the need to live my life knowing that I am no longer to live for me in any way, I must be surrendered over to the will, desires, and direction of God for my life. I must live my life saying “Your will, Your way”. I can’t have it 50/50 or 60/40 or even 99/1. It has to be 100% I belong to God and therefore must honor God will all that I do.

It’s a simple yet powerful challenge. As we look at our lives, what we do each day, how much of it is for our God and represent His will, and how much of it is for me and my desires? It’s a tough question but I am reminded to be more focused on looking at my life each day and asking myself these questions and being willing to change what I do and what is being prioritized in my life for the sake honoring God with all I do knowing “I belong to You (God) along”. Declaring with our lives to God and the world around us: “Your Will! Your Way!

His Ways or Ours

“...Aslan didn't tell Pole what would happen. He only told her what to do. That fellow will be the death of us once he's up, I shouldn't wonder. But that doesn't let us off following the signs.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

One of my favorite C.S. Lewis books is "The Silver Chair" (which is a part of the Narnia series), mainly because of this quote. The scene is set in this way:

Aslan tells Pole that she is to do whatever is asked of her by the first person she encounters who asks her to do something in the name of Aslan. Later in the story, Pole and her companion are in a room with a man who says he must not be released from the "silver chair" he is tied to, for if released, he would kill them both. So Pole and her companion wait for this madman as they watch him appear to go crazy while locked in his chair. Then, to the dismay of Pole, the man said, "In the name of Aslan release me from this chair."

It was in this moment Pole was presented with the greatest challenge she had yet seen. What does she do? Does she obey what Aslan had said and release this madman who, to the best of her knowledge, would kill her? Or does she justify disobedience by saying, "this could not be what Aslan would have intended by his instructions". 

We are all presented with this same scenario in the same way in our lives, usually on a daily basis, as we encounter situations where we have to decide if we will do what God has asked of us or, with our own logical re-interpretation of His Word, determine a new meaning not requiring our obedience. 

The above quote sums up the act of faith and obedience we must all have. God does not tell us what will happen every time we are confronted with a choice to follow his way verses the way of this world we live in. He only says obey. 

In these situations we are confronted with some deep personal questions. Do we truly believe God knows more then us? Do we believe His ways are better then ours? Are we truly submitted to His authority, leadership and Lordship in our lives? The answer to these questions is not in our verbal response but in our actions. Will we obey, even when the apparent consequences seem so out of touch with our "logical" ways of living life? Who’s ways will win, ours or His?

When Are We Worshiping

This is something a wrote for my church this week but thought that it was a good reminder for all of us...

Each Sunday we gather for a time to worship together and to hear teaching. I love these days. I look forward to being in the room with hundreds of people that sing and lift their voices to God together to worship Him. These moments have brought tears to my eyes as I stepped away from the microphone to hear voices raised in passionate worship of our Savior.

 I was thinking about those times of worship and was reminded that they shouldnot begin and end on Sunday morning. In fact our time together should be flowing out of times of worship that is happening in our lives throughout the week.

It makes me ask myself, am I taking time to worship God outside of Sunday morning? Am I setting time aside to give Him praise and adoration in my week? Times that are about worshiping God for who God is, giving Him glory despite my needs, hurts, or struggles.

I know for many of us, when we come together on Sunday morning, it can be difficult to enter into our times of worship. We have had a long week. The pressures, struggles, and worries of our days fill our minds. But I can't help but wonder how much easier it would be and how much more joy we would find in our joint times of worship together, if we were all worshiping outside of our Sunday services as well. Sunday would then be a time of worship that is continually flowing out of our times of worship and praise with God during our week.

Here’s something to think about. Maybe put on some favorite worship music and just sit, sing, pray, read the Psalms and worship your Creator and Savior! Seek to set aside time for God during your week to just worship him, apart from asking him for things. Just loving Him for being God!

Outside The Walls

Amos 5:21-24

I hate, I despise your religious festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!

 

This verse has been nagging at me lately. Challenging me as a worship leader and pastor. The context of this verse is that the prophet Amos is talking to Israel. They had forsaken God’s call on their lives and were living for themselves. Yes, they were doing the religious duties outwardly that should be expected. They went to “church” (the temple) each week. They heard good theologically grounded teaching. They sang their worship songs. They did what they were supposed to as good Jews. BUT look at God’s response is to them in these 4 verses. 

Why does he respond this way? Because even though they might have been doing the right duties in “church”, they were not living the call BEING the church outside of their services

This is such an important call to us today. If you read this entire chapter (which I encourage you to do) you see God is calling them out for ignoring the poor and the oppressed; for not caring for those in need; for not protecting the innocent and fighting for justice; for caring about themselves over their neighbors; and for ignoring the call of God for how to live outside of their worship services.

And what is God’s response to this? He says that he has rejected their worship because they did not follow God’s calling outside of the walls of the “church”. If we as a church, and as a people of God, are not living out the calling God has on us outside of the walls of our church, outside of our Bible studies, outside of our Christian circles; then we are missing the reason for our faith to begin with!

Pastor Corey said this well a few weeks ago in his Mathew 28 message and this verse affirms that very calling he had for us as a church. Let us not become a people where God says our songs are just noise to him. When we come to worship, it must be flowing out of a life that is truly living the calling God has on us outside of our Christian circles. 

We can do this Church! We must do this!

Satisfaction In Your Calling

1 Samuel 18:7

This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!”

I was thinking about this verse the other day and, although I have read it several times over the years, I had not quite thought about what it meant. The context of this verse is that David is coming into the city with King Saul. David had been put in charge of the army by King Saul and was leading the military campaigns. As Saul and the army was returning from a victorious battle it says that the women of city began to sing:

“Saul has killed his thousands and David his ten thousands”.

The next verse says that this made King Saul very angry. Why was Saul so angry? He was the king! The people where celebrating his return and victory. Giving him credit for being a war hero as their King that had defeated their enemies, while also celebrating David’s role in it. But yet it says Saul was angry at David for doing exactly what Saul had asked David to do as the leader of the army.  Saul became jealous of the call David had on his life, despite the incredible call King Saul had on his life. Yes David was a war hero but Saul was king. He was the ruler. God had anointed and made him, Saul, king. What a calling, what a privilege!

See, when David was praised for fulfilling God’s call in his life, Saul became jealous. He didn’t celebrate God’s calling on his life being fulfilled in that same victory. When we take our eyes off of the calling God has on us and we begin to compare ourselves to others and their calling, we will inevitably react as Saul did. Yet God was not calling Saul to be the warrior like he did David. Saul was called to be king. But because he took his eyes off of that calling in jealously, he began to fail at his calling that God had given him (as we begin to see in the following verses).

Let this be a challenge to us to stay focused on what God has gifted and called us to do for his kingdom.Comparing ourselves to others must not distract us. God wants our obedience to His calling on us, not his calling on others. He made you for your calling, and that’s what he wants to see you do so you can be called his “Good and faithful servant”.

The "Right" Worship Song

(As you read this, don’t over think it. I have some other blog posts that go into the depth of and talk about the deeper theology of worship. This is a starter to just reflect on, as I was today and just wrote down some thoughts)

I was thinking today about worship music. I was thinking about what worship music seems to tug at my heart the most toward God and seems to help me understand my role as a worshiper. The first song I was taken to was “Revelation Song”. Most of us know it. It is a song that comes right out of scripture. It is a song that comes right out of an experience being in the presence of God (before Gods throne in Heaven). It is a song calls us to sing songs that we will sing (or like them) for eternity.

All those pre cursers stand out to me for what is Worship:

1)   Right Out of Scripture (or very close paraphrasing)

2)   Comes out of an experience of being in the presence of God (as seen many time in scripture) or describes or takes us into an encounter with the Presence of God (John 4:23 – that word worship means to “encounter” or have a “moment of” worship.)

3)   It is calling us to sing the words we were created to sing (What we would sing before the fall of man and after Christ returns and we are again in the presence of God forever)

These are song that exalt God’s holiness, His worthiness, is beauty, is power, and Glory. Songs that echo the songs of heaven!

So much discussion is gone into what make something a “worship song” and what makes it not one. There is so much depth to this but today I am thinking simple. I am thinking worship is “recognizing God (the one we worship) is greater then myself (the worshiper)”. If the song does that, if the lyrics point us to that, if the melody drives us to that moment of truth, then the simple purpose of worship is complete. We have made God greater. We have worshiped the creator. We have done what we where created to do!

On a side note here is what I think worship is NOT based on this same simple approach and scripture. Worship songs are not:

1)   A sermon (it is not meant to preach to us the singer) –

2)   It is not prep for a sermon. (Worship is for God a sermon is for us, let us not confuse the two and rob God of what is for just him)

I am saddened many times how our churches and worship times our focused more on the words of a preacher making us feel good about God and ourselves more then they are actually about the worship of God. If you doubt me on this, do the math. How much time is devoted to just worshiping God with the language and values of worship we see declared in heaven and on earth verses how much is for us to hear stuff to make us “better” Christians? How much of what we call “worship” on Sunday is actually theologically backed as what the Bible calls “worship”?

Before you answer, I challenge each of us to really know what the Bible says about Worship and please do not misquote Romans 12 as you process this (The word is not translated correctly if you see “worship” in there). Start with John 4 and see were it leads. Go to Revelation and see what you see. Go to the Psalms and see what you find. What is the worship that “God seeks” (John 4:23) and how much do we actually do it as believers? How many of our songs and times are the “right worship” songs.

My Response To The Election

This is a letter I wrote to respond to a letter a friend had sent me. He was and is very discouraged by the election and the moral state of our nation and the failing of conservative politics. My response is  something that has been on my heart for a while and I have been struggling to express. Although I think there is much more to talk about and think through, it is something my heart is feeling and seeing right now and it is something that is changing me:

One thought that I have continually had up to the election and now even more after is that, although I agree the nation is turning its back on God I also see it is the church’s fault. The church that has turned its attempts to bring change in our country by creating legislating and forcing rules on a culture that is rejecting the premise for these rules, The Bible and God. I don't discount a Christians place in politics but I have been saddened by how it appears the church has chosen government, conservatism and legislation as a means of changing or saving culture in lieu of actually living out the Gospel through being the church of Jesus Christ to a lost world. Legislation does not change lives, laws don’t change lives. As we have seen, a culture can change laws when they no longer believe in them (i.e. abortion and same sex marriage). However what does change lives is the message of Jesus Christ being living out through the Church into the local communities we are called to and seeing that spread up and out from there into our city, our state, our nation, and our world.

Basically we are doing this backwards. We see a lost world. We think "our America" has turned it’s back on God and we work to fix that with legislation, protesting, and attacks. We want to force others to accept the gospel as their way of living by the laws we create, but the Apostle Paul spoke against that in 1 Corinth 5 when he challenged the church by saying they are not to judge those outside the faith, how can one expect someone outside to act like a Christian, instead focus inward and actually start living the call of the Church.

Our country was never a "Christian nation" due to its laws. It was the people that made it great by choosing values and a way of life guided by biblical principals because they embraced the Gospel. So when we try to make a nation “Christian” by creating laws and forcing political agendas we have already lost, it is not how it is done, it is not how Jesus or the early church did it. We have to start over. We have to start living the church, living the gospel. When people encounter God that is where change comes from, not from creating laws.

I think this is a primary reason conservative politics and Christianity is failing. Let the politics be about politics, but church, lets let our lives be about Christ and lets live in this world to see change through Jesus Christ, doing what Jesus did. Encountering the sinner with love and mercy, going to the sinner where they are at, getting rid of religious laws that create “white washed tombs” that look good on the outside but still have hearts far from God.

If we want to protect the sanctity of marriage lets not have the same divorce rate as the rest of the world. If we want to stop abortions, instead of holding signs calling them murders, lets start to love on the woman that feels so desperate they see that as the only way out. If we want to see envy and selfishness end as motivation for a “entitlement society” then lets help people encounter the gospel that turns us from takers to givers. (However we first have become a people that are known for being givers like James talks about)

Are we known for what Jesus was known for? Do they see Jesus in us and in how we live? If not then we have only ourselves to blame when the world does not see Jesus. 

Criticizing Their Motives?

I was reading this morning in the book of Philippians. Paul is writing from prison sharing about what he is seeing and experiencing while being in chains in this first chapter. As I was reading a verse jumped out at me and really got me thinking. Here Paul is in prison for sharing the message of Jesus. He is suffering for the message he gave about Christ. He then talks about others outside the prison walls also sharing. He says starting in verse 15: "It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives... those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me."

 So I read that and I was in total agreement with Paul. I have felt the same way so many times. I feel like I see churches or ministries sharing Jesus or preaching out of selfish reasons, pride or desire that is just to grow their church, instead of a unified church. So knowing Paul and I both see this problem is very encouraging...until I read the next verse.

 "But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice. " -Philippians 1:18 (NLT)

Well my bubble was popped as I was officially kicked off of my high horse. Take all the bad things and even sin Paul is observing from those preaching the gospel and he says.."but that doesn't matter" because Christ is still being preaching, because people are still coming into the church. If Paul says it doesn't matter then how can I ever let that be a factor to me or make it an issue in my life as I look at others ministries.

Today it is easy to post blogs, Facebook comments, and articles ripping others churches and ministers because we disagree with how they are doing something or with their motives or intentions. Paul says, "it doesn't matter" but instead "REJOICE" that the gospel is going out, that churches are growing, that people are hearing! Maybe it's time for us (including myself) to get off of our spiritual high horse, end the endless attacks and criticism and look around and rejoice that the message Jesus brought is being taught and heard, even if we don't agree with certain leaders, or motives or methods...let's rejoice together in all of this and end our attacks!

What Guides Us?

Pam and her husband Bob were serving as missionaries to the Philippines and praying for a fifth child. Pam contracted amoebic dysentery, an infection of the intestine caused by a parasite found in contaminated food or drink. She went into a coma and was treated with strong antibiotics before they discovered she was pregnant. Doctors urged her to abort the baby for her own safety, telling her the medicines had caused irreversible damage to her baby. She refused the abortion and cited her Christian faith as the reason for her hope that her son would be born without the devastating disabilities physicians predicted.

While pregnant, Pam nearly lost their baby four times but still refused to consider abortion. She recalled making a pledge to God with her husband: If you will give us a son, we’ll name him Timothy and we’ll make him a preacher.

Pam ultimately spent the last two months of her pregnancy in bed and eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy August 14, 1987. Pam’s youngest son is indeed a preacher. He preaches in prisons, makes hospital visits, and serves with his father’s ministry in the Philippines. He also plays football. Pam’s son is Tim Tebo..

 Our faith is tested in times like these. Do we believe in what God has called us to? Whom do we serve and who or what really guides our choices? This story is not an amazing because of who the boy became but because obidiance guided the choice of the parents choice. Many mock christians today and accept their fiath until it goes against "logic". I have spent my life makeing decisions, some have been wrong and some of been right. The ones that I made out of faith, beleivng I heard God speak and lead me have NEVER been shown to be wrong. I never threw out common sesnse though. Becuase the Bible is FULL of common sense counsel that guides us in making descisions and evaluting what we believe we believe to be God speaking with scripture. The extremes out there that run around caliming to hear God dramataically and then fall on thier face time and time again have ingored the basic tool God gives to speak, His Word. The parents of Tim didn't just run around thinking doctors where crazy and they only live "by faith". They where guided by scripture and prayer and took wisdom into account to handle their pregnancy well BUT they let the direction of their relationship with God guide them over the logic of their Doctor..and they where right!

If you have never lived a life by faith or prayed knowing that God is speaking and gives direction...how can you possibly know that he doesn't?

Living In The Now

There is a statement I have heard many times over the years; “I am waiting on God for where He wants me to serve Him next”. Granted I heave heard this mostly from those who feel they are called to full time ministry but also from those who feel they are waiting on God for what he wants them to do “next” in their church or are looking for a new ministry to “serve” in.

I recently came across a letter I once wrote to a friend who has saying the things I quoted above. I thought it might be a good word to hear for those of us in our Christian life who are at a spot that we feel is the “in between” times of ministry. So here it is:

The question is not about where or when, it is all about now. What you are doing now is serving God just as much as you were when you were your full time ministry. God does not look at the span of our influence but the depth of our obedience. That is how he defines service to him. Not in a ministry but in a life that is always ministering to him by doing what he wants and honoring him where we are at. It is in the moment of now that obedience and worship occurs. Not in the moments to come. We never know what the next moment of life will be nor is God expecting us to be looking ahead waiting for that moment so we can serve him.

 James 4:14-15

 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it's here a little while, then it's gone.

It’s the moment of now that demonstrates who we are before our God. The Future is still waiting to be written.

I know you desire to serve God. I think sometimes we that are in ministry get used to that being who we are. Who we are is not a pastor, or a Sheppard, or a minister. Those are roles God calls us to. Who we are is our character and it’s what we do and how we live in everything, no matter what “role” we have in a stage in life.

You are just as much in God’s service now. No more and no less. And as long as you are obedient to your role he calls you to live in now, in this moment, he is just as happy with you as he would be if you were pasturing a church of 1000 or 2000 or more and you and this role of not having a title is just as much a significant part to his plan as anything you have done or will do. Be in the moments of now! Find your significance, satisfaction, and purpose in the now, in who you are before God, not in what you do before God.

Capitalism Or…?

First let me say I am not an extreme right wing conservative that believes everything but capitalism is evil and of the devil. However, I have been thinking a lot about the contrast of what we do and what we have seen others do economically and with their governments.

First, a list of what we can all agree on that we hate:
1 Greed
2 Poverty
3 Abuse
4 Corruption
5 People Hurting

So this is just a small list but it covers many of the things in the political arena that seem to cover much of what both sides of the political isle should hate. (And they do in their root values)

So now that we agree on what we don’t want, now we have to figure out how to fix it. Well, let’s look through history and answer some questions.

1 Can anyone show an example of a government, country or economics system that did not have all the things in the list above? (I couldn’t find one)
2 What countries across the last century have had the least amount of poverty?
3 What were their government and economic structures and practices?

I keep hearing of the evils of capitalism. Capitalism is not evil. Socialism is not evil, heck; you might be able to make an argument that even a dictatorship is not evil (especially since most of the Old Testament was a form of dictatorships). So since the forms are not evil what is? PEOPLE ARE!

This is what our founding fathers knew and understood clearly. The reason democracy and capitalism is so valued is not because it does not have evilness in it (the people running it are evil) but because it (compared to other forms) empowers an individual and their communities to fight against the evil more then any other form of government or economics.

I do recognize I am combining government and economics, mostly because they are so closely tied together. You really can not separate the two in our globalized world today (at least in my opinion). Now I know this is not an in-depth study but an honest conversation about the critiques I keep hearing. I recently heard the statement: “The overeducated, in all their education, end of not really knowing anything. They are so caught up in their books of discussion and philosophy they forgot to look at their history books.” – There is something of truth in this statement that I find revealing about our culture/political leaders today.

I believe the more power the community and the individuals have the more power they can work to become free from all the things listed above, both in government and economics. That power is best given through a democracy/capitalistic system in today’s global economy.

I know many want to fix the things in the list, I agree! However the solution is not to mimic failed forms that are happening around us and have occurred historically – mainly version of socialism. In an evil world with evil man we want to think we can fix it. Well we can’t! But we can work against it. If we think somehow we can fix it and remove power from one evil man and give it to another and that will fix it… well that just sounds ignorant. I see that way of thinking in things happening today.

Example: We don’t trust the evil insurance companies so now we want the government to do it. Then we will have another group of evil people running it and they will create their own evils. (I know this issue is deeper then this but this is simple yet accurate representation of the dialogue.)

I have been told by some of my more liberal friends that Jesus would support welfare, government insurance etc and that is why they are liberal and why I don’t represent Christ. My response is this: I believe they are very un-biblical because they have put their hope in man in a way that denies the reality of scripture and the sinful nature. They have put their hope in man and their various forms of government instead of what Christ left to do his works, the church.

If we ignore humanity we ignore reality and will be doomed to repeat ourselves over and over again; failing and trapping the very people we wish to free!

OK…thanks for hearing my thoughts on this controversial issue.

The Role of Government

This is simple and I'm purposefully not giving to much of my thoughts on this directly but read it and then ask yourself what you believe and where you fall in this.


“A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse doe to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.
”Alexander Tyler

‎8 phases of democracy:
1. From bondage to spiritual faith;
2. From spiritual faith to great courage;
3. From courage to liberty;
4. From liberty to abundance
5. From abundance to complacency;
6. From complacency to apathy;
7. From apathy to dependence;
8. From dependence back into bondage

Not only must we ask where we fall in this but we must ask where our nation falls in this. The quote by Alexander is directly tied to how we see the role of government in America today.

Seminary president: Baptists have been 'homophobic' (OneNewsNow.com)

Seminary president: Baptists have been 'homophobic' (OneNewsNow.com)

Time To Start Living It - Follow Up (1985)

This is a perfect follow up from my previous post. It is a good reminder. We are not dealing with a new problem but it is a problem we have yet to deal with...This is from 1985 yet its words ring true. I beg for this to be heard and understood. In myself and my fellow followers of Jesus. What does it take for change to occure and action to speak louder then words and study?

The Book of Eli - Time to Start Living It

I recently saw two movies, The Book of Eli and Avatar. Both gave me many thoughts to ponder on but for this post I will just be talking about “The Book of Eli”. I know there are many out there who have not seen this film so don’t worry, I am not going to give away the ending. My thoughts won’t give much away; it just might give you some pre knowledge to what is going on.

Well as most can tell from the previews, this movie portrays a time in earths future were there is no government, the climate has shifted and everything is a dessert waste land with a fend for yourself society. The hero of the story, Eli (played be Denzel Washington) is seen traveling across the wasteland. You find out early on that he is caring a large book; this book turns out to be a bible, the only Bible in existence. After the war that caused the great climate change all the bibles were destroyed because many blamed the Bible or those that followed it for the war. So the character Eli is struggling to take the Bible west, where exactly, he does not know, but he knows that his purpose is to protect this Bible. He also states, and his shows, that he reads the Bible every night.

In the first part of the movie as the plot is being set Eli stumbles on to a robbery murder of some helpless travelers by a gang of thugs. He watches from above as the man is murdered and the women is raped and then murdered, all the time repeating to himself as he clutches the Bible close to his chest something like, “Keep Focused, this is not your fight, keep moving” (not an exact quote but the idea). Using these words be convinces himself to stand by and watch as these murders occur, believing it is his calling to protect this Bible above all else. Well the movie moves on, and it was a good movie, but near the end Eli makes a statement as he is remembering his journey. He says that he been so focused on protecting the Bible that he had forgotten to live by what it said. WOW! That statement jumped out to me like being hit with a ton of bricks. My first thought was “Wow, God that is me. I have been so consumed with doing my “Calling” in church and “protecting” what I think the Bible teaches church should be that I had forgotten to really live by what it says as I seek to fulfill my calling. (Please note my first thought was a personnel conviction before I expanded on it) But then I took it further…

I thought that this is my church, or many times “The church”. We spend our time fighting to protect our prefect theology (That we believe is perfectly accurate) and teaching each other and ourselves all about what the Bible says so we are “Strong”, “grounded” Christians defending our faith. Doing all this sitting in our chairs, services, meetings, and Sunday school classroom while the world around us is being murdered and raped by each other and the devil himself, the one we are supposedly fighting against.

I found my self just sitting and thinking about this. I was and am sad as I reflect and must embrace this reality. Yet I am frozen in my chair, more frozen then before because I am not sure what action to take. I am torn between two worlds but in my heart I know these worlds should not be torn. I am torn because I believe the church is “the hope of the world” and the church has the power to change the world in the name and message of Jesus Christ. Yet I feel trapped in that same organization, in a good and bad way. I can’t leave it because I know it is ordained and called by God and I know my calling is to be in it and to work through it. That is my calling (not to calling of everyone as it is for me). But as I walk through the doors now I can’t help but feel like there is something dead and I am trapped in continuing on as is with no hope in sight of it being any different in my or my world around me. Also trapped because I feel if I speak up about what I see I am perceived as the critical jerk who is not a “team player”.

Do we, Christians, see the world that is being murdered and raped, and are we watching it while sitting in our classes to teach theology and create “growth”. Growth? Growth to do what? Growth to go from class 101 to 201 to class 301? Don’t get me wrong I love learning, I love teaching and I love being a part of that but what is it leading to? What is the point of all the teaching and listening if we grow only to teach each others already in our churches and to start a new class to teach other Christians what we know? When will we be called to take action by the teachings and those teaching it? When will we be called to more by our own leaders who tell us to grow? When will they lead us into action, even by example? (This is also a question I am putting to myself as I struggle through this)

Yes, I am left with more questions and more discouragement then I had at the beginning. But it is in times of disparity that God meets us as we are humbled by our failures and mistakes. But I am crying out saying “God wake more people up! I am tired of feeling helpless to be a part of change that really matters. God I am, right now, tried of it all as I see it happening week in and week out. I am tired the most of what I am see in me!”

I hear the author of “From Good to Great” Say recently. The great success stories are the ones who did not wait for their leaders and coworkers to be strong and successful but worked to be strong and successful despite the failings of those under them and below them. That is the real challenge I guess. There are no excuses left to not see action in me. Now what is my action to be?

What Is Life

What is life that I try to live

For it all on my own

And what is life that I sacrifice

All the things that I should hold

What is this breath except a gift that I

Think that I should own

And who am I to try to be in control

Of more then I could ever know

So what is life except to find what’s worth dying for

And what is this hand that holds me in ways that I just can’t ignore

Even in my mind I know there must be more then I can see

So what is there to live for besides me

What are these deeds that I call good

As if I deserve something more

Is this a lie that I tell myself

To make me think that I’m in control

I give up; I can’t go on this way

I need more to live for

So I give all I have and am to You

For more then I could ever know

I see this life and it is more then I could ever dream

Here I was with the answer staring right back at me

I choose to live not for me but for the one who set me free

I know now what to live for besides me

My Friend

Are you ever in a situation when you realize you haven’t talked to a good friend in a long time or realized you have neglected someone close to you? What is your response? Do you feel awkward around your close friend the next time you see them? Do you wonder what to do? Do you wonder if you two are as close as you used to be and if they still want friendship?

I was playing on the worship team the other day and realized something was missing. I realized as I was playing and singing that I was doing something that was special and intimate with my Friend and my God yet it felt kind of awkward. I realized I had neglected my Friend and had not purposely spent time to connect with him. So now as I was doing something that was more intimate it seemed weird and I found myself wondering what to do next.

If it was, lets say Sammy (one of my best friends), I would have said “Dude we need to get together ASAP” and I would have made sure we set something up right away to re -connect. But in that moment I felt awkward and was wondering what I could do.

Why does it seem so easy with my friends on earth but so hard with my God and Friend who loves me more deeply and unconditionally then any friend I can have on this earth? Why did I wonder what to do next? When in reflection I know that my God and Friend is wanting me to come to the realization that I neglected our relationship and is asking me to just come back and hang out. Could it be that I really don’t believe or understand what it means for God to love me and want my friendship in the deep, unconditional way that he does? It so easy with my physical friend but why did it feel hard with my God?

It is because I still don’t get it. I don’t get that he is REALLY my FRIEND. That he REALLY does want my RELATIONSHIP and is not getting overly concerned like I am with what to do now. The time was not to try and “Figure it out” it was time to do what I know to do in any relationship, just go spend time in that relationship.

The thing is if I had rejected a friend and pushed him aside I could have had good reason to be worried about how he would be feeling toward me and if he feeling mad at me and even questing our friendship. But My God, the one who called me Friend before I called him one, is not their sitting and seething but he is waiting and wanting me to come to him and he wants to draw close to me. He wants me even when I have rejected him.

We have no need to be awkward with that Relationship. Yes I need to be challenged with the reality that I have neglected my God and that is wrong but I need not fear returning. I need to just return, and return with passion for renewing this friendship even more deeply and confidently then I would with my best friend on earth. God is calling me… he might be calling you right now. Relax he is not yelling. He’s just saying… “Come on, let’s hang out. I miss you? Don’t you miss me to?”