As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
There seems to be three types of potential sharpening experiences. The obvious and simplest one is when two or more come together for the purpose of being sharpened. They agree to let the others speak into their life and call them on things that need to change. The second potential sharpening experiences can be between those that have not “officially” said “Sharpen me” but are friends and in a relationship of trust and therefore can make observations that can sharpen each other. The 3rd is when someone makes an observation or sees areas of sin in someone else’s life and the sin is affecting themselves or others around them negatively.
The first one is a pretty simple one because the doors are open for sharpening to occur and permission has been given. The other two are more complicated with the third being the most complicated. The question I am battling with right now is how to handle the 2nd and 3rd scenario. What is the responsibility of fellow believers to speak into each others life, especially when the sin or issue affects others and themselves negatively? Is it right to let someone continue to hurt themselves or others just because they have not given you permission to speak into their life?
I welcome thoughts and feedback because this is an issue I am struggling with and want to honor God first and then as best as I can my fellow brothers and sisters.
4 comments:
this is a good question, I wish I had a good answer, but I don't. Here are some of the questions I think about.
Does the person want to hear me, even if they disagree, will they at least listen with out a breach, or a minimal breach in the relationship? if not, I'm probably not going to waste my time and energy.
Am I in a humble position. We often don't know the whole situation. Part of that humility is being able to listen to counter charges of faults in my own life, a common response for all of us when we are confronted.
Lastly, is it your responsibility? Just cause you see something doesn't mean it's your responsibility to do something about it. Which isn't to say that it's not. For instance I disagreed with the way my pastor handled something one time, in that particular case it wasn't my responsibility, it was the responsibility of the elders, which they did. I didn't need to worry about it.
Finally, is the Spirit prompting a discussion, or is it just me and my ideas?
Thank you... all good thoughts. I think the responsibility thing is a good filter. However what makes someting your responsibility? When does it get there. If the sin or issue is affecting you or those aroound then does it become yours or not? This is one I am battleing with right now.
To me, I think a lot of this comes back to the most simplistic commands in the Bible - love God above all else and love your neighbor as yourself. I think if you approach all correction in this fashion, God will reward your faithfulness (keeping in mind, however, that the world will probably "reward" you in a fashion similiar to how they "rewarded" Christ).
Personally, I think the biggest mistakes that people make in correcting a brother/sister is (a) they don't remove their plank before discussing the brother/sister's speck and (b) they approach in a legalistic or "holier-than-thou" attitude instead of a sincere, heart-felt, loving manner with genuine concern for the good of the brother/sister and NOT approaching as an opportunity to be spiritual police laying the smack down on a criminal (besides, aren't we all guilty?).
Mistake (a) is easy. In fact, just the other day I had a friend who's boss is a very scripturally-grounded man who was constantly giving my friend marital advice, which annoyed my friend - not because the boss quoted scripture, but because he just completed his third divorce (proof that knowing the Word isn't synonomous to obeying the Word). Obviously, my friend had no desire for his marital counseling and was offended at his boss's attempt to "correct" him.
Personally, (although it's very difficult) I really try to welcome criticism in my life simply because, if nothing else, it gets me to question why I do what I do and if what I believe the scriptures say is really what is meant (i.e. that I have the correct interpretation of the scriptures and I'm not simply prooftexting).
In conclusion, my suggestion is to go with the fact that we are promised that the Word will never return void and that if you are submitted to God and truly are looking out for your friend's interest (and not just an opportunity to lay the smack down) then good will come from you going on a limb to rescue a friend.
Love it Tim... See the next post.
Thanks to both of you for the comments.
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