Dear friends, brother and sisters in Christ,
I am writing this because I have been noticing a pattern that greatly concerns me. It is a pattern that I see hurting friendships and the ministries I see people being a part of. I have been working in ministry and with ministry people in close relationship for over ten years. I have always seen conflicts come and go but what I am starting to observe more recently really disturbs me. I am seeing people hurt on not talking about. I see people getting angry and not admitting to it. I see friends becoming bitter and not dealing with it. I am seeing people hide there emotions and feelings around some warped false idea that to be Jesus with each other means to ignore the things that people do wrong and act as if all is fine. That is not being Jesus, that is living a lie and ignoring a huge part of Jesus and his teaching on dealing with relationships and conflicts in the body of Christ.
At first I just thought that the situations were rare and unique but as I have become closer with many of those I serve with or live in fellowship with I am realizing that this blinding and ignoring of wrongs done to us and to others in the name of being Jesus is not only a false teaching but a lie form the enemy that he is and will continue to use against the body of Christ until we choose to stop it.
Lest start right from scripture:
Matt 18:15-17
15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
NIV
These words come right out of the mouth of Jesus. So it is very safe to assume that to be Jesus to each other means to follow His teaching, hence, follow this verse. The first line is where it all starts, “if your brother sins against you GO”. This to me appears as a command. Jesus says GO. He doesn’t say if you feel like it go, or if it is worth dealing with go, or if you are hurt or angry enough go. No, it says if someone sins against you go. For what purpose do you go? You go to win your brother over. You go to restore a relationship, not just between you and the person but between that person and God who they have also sinned against. You go to keep the sin from happening again.
Lets say some one I know that I am friends with is having a rough time financially. In this I realize that they stole $20 from my wallet. If they were in need that badly I would have given it to them so what is the point of addressing it, I will be Jesus to them by just letting them have it. That is what I hear so many saying. But the problem is that next week they steel $20 from someone else. Then the next week they steal from someone else. Then they end up stealing a purse or a wallet or even worse. The entire build up of sin that could lead a person to jail could have all been avoided by the first person confronting the sin that occurred. The enemy wins because I hid behind a lie that to be Jesus to them I “let sin go”. My experience with sin, and from what I see in God’s word, is that it does not just stop on its own. It usually takes a bad fall in their sin for people to start to turn. Would it not be better if we would love each other enough to confront sin in the little or big things so that the sin does not begin to consume our brother or sister and cause them or others around them to take that terrible fall?
3 comments:
Bax, I get that you're seeing people hurting, people growing bitter, people getting offended. Instead of standing up for themselves (or correcting a wayward brother/sister) they are shutting down. You observations are (I presume intentionally) vague to "protect the innocent". However, I now have a lot of clarifying questions to ask: Is it actual "sin" causing these ill effects? Or miscommunication? Hurt and pain need not be caused by actual wrongdoing. I'm trying to understand if you are talking about a breakdown in how we deal with sin or a breakdown in how we see, listen, and understand each other in general. My own observations lead me towards the latter. I think the landscape of the heart is a complex and messy place that our evangelical world has forgotten how to deal with, and something that requires far more discernment than our theology often affords us.
I want to affirm the idea of "Going", we can do a great kindness when we help direct and guide each other towards greater holiness. You are right to bring it to our attention. I'm also thinking about the various verses encouraging us to teach and admonish each other.
I want to caution against landing in a simple formula of merely always "going", however. I think scripture gives us a lot of additional things to think about. For instance, Prov 19:11's idea of overlooking an "offense". Is an offense a sin? or is it merely an amoral action we find annoying or hurtful? Moreover, did Jesus always confront those who sinned against him? (Believer and Unbeliever alike?) I'm thinking in particular of his path to the cross, and his utter silence during his trails in contrast to his attacks against the religious establishment earlier in his ministry. Are we to treat "Christians" differently than nonbelievers? How so? How does this relate to social critique, i.e., praying for or pointing out the sins of our community/nation? Which may or may not consist entirely of "believers". Lastly, Matt. 7:3 comes to mind.
A good conversation to start.
Brandon
Proverbs 19:11
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Matthew 7:3
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
I will be posting a part two very soon. I wrote them in one part but they were so long I divided them up.
I think there will be a part three addressing the offense issue. Is it sin. What do we do with the not sin. What does "overlook" mean. Forget or just forgive. Can I forgive yet still confront?
um, hi.
I just want to thank you.
I am dealing with a situation right now, and I was looking for a verse online. I truly believe the Spirit led me here. We are to confront our brother not if we feel like it, but we are commanded. This is really smacking me in the face, and really feel like God is teaching me things. So, thank you so much.
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